Goal Setting Part 4 | Why Kiss And Kill Lists Are Crucial To Goal Setting

First off, well done on stealing those minutes thus far in this wild ride of your new COVID reality to set goals and get on a new path toward progress.

(Personal note: I just burned 60 entire minutes writing the alphabet in chalk on the sidewalk for my 4 year old son to learn his letters. That feels like #winning today for me, so shout out to all the parents with kids at home full time. Just, wow.)

So, now you’ve arrived at the part that requires some seriously tough love with yourself. Its time to ruthlessly edit, slash and burn, and pare down your goals down to the ones you’re willing to make sacrifices for in order to achieve. Below, I’ll walk you through the process of taking your original list and breaking them up into two lists — Kiss and Kill — and why. Don’t worry, you will circle back to both lists after you create the process for get to each one (next step!) as this will likely shift after you know what it takes to achieve the specific goals — and once you’ve decided to be honest with yourself.

Step 1: Create Two Lists — Kiss And Kill

Ok, grab a piece of paper and create two columns: Kiss and Kill. Here’s what the two lists consist of and why you need to distinguish them:

1. Kiss List: This list includes a). goals that you’re confident you’ll be motivated to complete, b). goals you won’t dread — dread is a sure-fire way to kill any progress, c). goals that you and your business can garner so much value from, and see progress from, that you want to wrap your arms around it and, yes, kiss the thing, and most importantly d). goals that will help you survive this stretch of time and thrive post COVID.
2. Kill List: This list includes: a). goals that you’ll work on later (ie. maybe never), b). goals that you’ve decided were inauthentic to you, and c). goals that are not remotely important for you to survive or thrive — or for your business to survive and thrive — right now. You’ll toss this list eventually, but you can keep it for reference for now.

Step 2: The 6 Keys To Creating Kiss Or Kill Lists

As you start creating your two lists, remember this: There are about 17,456 boring and un-fun things to do before the glamorous stuff comes. Be honest with yourself, and build the lists for your actual life and business today, not your fantasy life. Ok, here are the 6 keys to creating your two lists:

1. Define your why: Knowing where you’re going and how you’re going to get there are tactical must-have’s, but knowing your “why” behind each goal will build momentum and staying power for your goals. Ask yourself: Why is this [X goal] important to me and what is the value in achieving it? Do I get more time? Do I get more financial freedom? Do I get positive feedback or praise at work? Do I feel better physically? These reasons tend to be personal, so don’t apologize for what value you place on these. These reasons are unique to you, your situation, your business, your life circumstances which are, by nature, unrepeatable.
2. Impress yourself with honesty: You knew this one was coming. But it is THE key! And, as Scott Miller, author of Management Mess To Leadership Success, says, “nearly all conflict comes from mismatched or unfulfilled expectations.” You’re not immune to this truism as it can pertain to your expectations of yourself as you create goals. So, be honest with the expectations that you’re setting for yourself. You don’t want to disappoint yourself when you’re trying to actually impress yourself, right? Keep this rule in your back pocket as you create your lists.
3. Define short-term motivation: Get clear on which goals have a foundation of a long-term vision, but that allow for short-term motivation. In other words, if you want to build an email list, what is going to hold your attention and keep you motivated to write the emails, build the list, reach out to potential partners, write guest posts, find stock photos, and all the tasks?
4. Don’t “should” on yourself: I stole this, clearly, from every therapist on the planet. But, the key takeaway is to not attach goals to what you think you should want, what other businesses focus on, nor what you’ve been working toward thus far. Get really clear on what the highest priorities are in your life, and what the top goals are that you can attach to those priorities. If it’s making mad amounts of money, great. If it’s freedom and time with your family, great. If it’s exercise every single day, meditation, or eating healthy meals, super. Act as if nobody is watching you on this part.
5. Distinguish between distraction and priority: The hardest thing to do is cut the goals that seem important, but when you look closely, they culminate in very little residual reward. They are, in effect, a distraction. To help distinguish the most critical goals is to put the nice-to-have goals right up against the non-negotiable goals and you’ll see very quickly which ones carry more emotional, financial, personal, or professional weight.
6. Simplify and decide: Don’t fall prey to letting your goals compete against each other. The more weighty goals you have, the more splintered your time and focus will become, and the less likelihood there will be for you to complete anything — and, wow, will that suck your confidence dry! Think about your goals as part of a system, and try to create synchronicity among them. As Seth Godin says, “You don’t need more time, you just need to decide.” Decision begets power. Find your power.

The final details!

Ok, that’s it for now! Next I will share Part 5: Organize To Prioritize. I If you want more info on this series, visit Part 1 here, Part 2 here, or Part 3 here. If you like this post, or this series, share it using links below or to your left. Then follow me on Instagram/Facebook at @rawstrategy, sign up for my emails at the bottom of this website. And PLEASE leave a comment below on how this has impacted you, or shoot me a note with any clarifying questions — I’m here to help you through this process!

Want more?

If you or your business need a deeper dive that his customized, reach out! DM me, email me, call, text, whatever and we’ll schedule a time to do a business-specific Zoom session (typically anywhere from 2–6 hours depending on your business) where we get really specific on your challenges, and narrow down the exact systems and solutions you can implement in your business now. My vow to you is that I will ask the hard questions to get you on the path toward action. Once COVID is finito, we can explore even more in-person or group training sessions for your business. Ok, thanks for reading. More soon!