Does Your Story Reveal Your Confidence?
At 19, I left college, sort of a mess. After a devastating crash in a downhill ski race a couple years earlier, I had finally given up my dreams of making the U.S. Ski Team — I had made the development team, but that was not my ultimate goal. Ski racing was my identity, my story, for close to a decade. Without it, my confidence was circling the drain; my brain bashing between over exercising and complete destruction.
I needed to leave, crack open my future to more than dark classrooms (I was an art history major, snore, I know!), barking professors, and teenagers drowning themselves in alcohol. So, I filled a backpack with layers and a sleeping bag and bought a one-way ticket to Nepal — by myself. Nobody, not even my past, could find me there. Right? Mmmmm, not really.
As my good friend, Rebecca always says, “you follow yourself everywhere.” True! So, you better make some damn good stories to nestle into because they’re yours…for life.
What I found while traveling was that every time I met someone new (every 7 seconds while traveling solo as a teenager), I had the chance to be someone different, to make up a story, or refine the real ones of my past. I could decide to share the stories that would paint me as someone mysterious or obvious; someone damaged or wholeheartedly optimistic. But each time, I came back to the stories that were real, that shared an obstacle I had overcome, a moment that defined the next step in my crooked journey.
Over the several months I crisscrossed Nepal, and eventually Thailand (I’m nauseous even thinking about those bus rides rife with smells that nobody should endure), I refined my stories to only the best ones, the ones that elicited a reaction, and I found my footing. My stories began to define me, began to give me strength and pride because I knew them and I knew how they’d persuade others to think of me.
Why am I telling you all this? Because often times a lack of confidence, like I had, comes from a lack of certainty. And as Brendon Burchard likes to say, “a lack of certainty can come from a lack of clarity in how you want to serve” your audience or your customers. If you know how you want to serve, then you can reverse engineer the stories that can bolster that mission.
Which leads me to today’s lesson: How to use storytelling to reveal your confidence. If your audience can witness the transformation from none to some, you’ll be able to show off your confidence in such a way that will get your people to trust you. Got it? Ok, on to today’s lesson.
How To Use Stories To Reveal Your Confidence
Step #1 | Track your stories
Make a list of all of your unique defining moments (or UDM’s as I like to call them), times of massive transition, upheaval, learnings, lessons, or challenges. Keep track of them somewhere (Google doc, notes on your phone, etc), add to this list, and revisit it often. Scrap the ones that are less interesting against the poignant ones.
Step #2 | Divulge your process
People want to know how you got from point A to point B. So, track that movement and that transformation as you think of what stories to share with your audience.
Step #3 | Invest in the payoff
Ask yourself if the lesson, the transformation or the payoff reveals a level of understanding or confidence that you have in your craft, your trade, your work or your product? If not, how could you manipulate the story, maybe even stretch it, or reveal more of its nuts and bolts, so that people can see themselves in your story to then receive the payoff?
Step #4 | Phase out the story
Write down the phases of your story so that you can make sure your audience can follow your process. Keep it simple, don’t use flowery language or complicated metaphors (the killer!). If they can mirror that emotion in themselves, they’ll better understand the confidence you gained, and thus trust you with their time, effort, or money.
Step #5 | Share your story
Share your story on social, in blogs, and in front of your team each week. The more you share your story, the more people will trust you.
